To My Family

Dear whoever may be reading this,

If you’re reading this, I have already came out to you as trans. & if I haven’t came out to you & you’re reading this… surprise.

Anyways, the true intent of this is to clear things up. See, I have came out to you some of you a while ago, and it seems that you don’t really understand. So I’m here to help you out. & please refer to this blog, mostly the videos, that I’ve posted for more reference.

  1. Sex vs. Gender. Many people use these terms interchangeably. Let me educate you. Sex is biological. For example, I am a female. That is my sex, but that is not my gender. My gender is transguy/man/boy, the like. There are 3 sexes (male, female, & intersex) but there are infinite genders.
  2. *My name. As of now, I don’t think I’m changing it legally, but I’d really appreciate it if you guys wouldn’t call me by my birth name or any nicknames associated with that name. I’d liked to be called Jai (Jay, Jaye, J, or the like). Just not my birth name.It makes me feel uncomfortable.
  3. *My pronouns. These changed also. I don’t want to be called she/her/hers. I would much rather be called he/him/his or they/them/theirs. Example: “Can you call her please?” Instead: “Can you call him please?” or “Can you call them please?” Still confused on how to use they/them/theirs? I’ll help you. “That’s their jacket.” “They aren’t here yet.” “Have you seen them?” & yes they/them/theirs can be used singularly as well as plurally.
  4. I’m not trans because I like “girls.” Forget the fact that I like people of the same sex. Me being trans is not another level of “lesbianism.” I am not “butch.” An easy way to remember this is is the saying, “Sexuality is who you go to bed WITH, gender is who you go to bed AS.”
  5. **I was born this way. Nothing that happened, or didn’t happen, in my childhood caused me to be this way. I have always been this way, but only just realized it. Think about it, I never liked wearing what other girls traditionally wore, I was always a boy when we were playing pretend, I would have rather played with video games than dolls, I didn’t really want a quince (even though at the end it was all worth it), & I didn’t want to wear a dress to prom. At the time, we figured all this was because I was gay, when in reality, it was because I’m actually trans.

If you guys have any other questions please ask me. Please, because I want you guys to understand as much as you guys can.

*My mental health really relies on this. I find I get really sad & uncomfortable when someone gets these things messed up. Also, I don’t want to correct you because I’ll feel rude if I did. So if you catch yourself messing up, say sorry & correct yourself. If I don’t see improvement in a couple months, I will start correcting.

**This paragraph mentions some stereotypical gender roles that I don’t agree with, but felt that was the best way to get through to my family. I believe boys could wear dresses & play with dolls, & girls could play video games & wear tuxes, & so on & so on.

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